Cute Bubble

.........

2006-03-16T23:15:00.000+08:00

Imagine you are a girl, working late on a one faithful night. And when you were waiting for bus, suddenly you were caught by police.
Sentence: guilty by being alone late at night.
Result: remanded in jail or paid $$ as fine.

I was left in a daze when reading this. Well, this is not a joke. It's a real life experience written in a paper.

I was thinking: what a waste of resources to do all these jokes? Isn't it better if the police were to caught the thieves, robbers, and funnymen?????

Mee Gosh, imagine if I am the one who is in the poor woman's shoes. GOSHH!!!

I had made a pact, when I am back to my country next time, I got to read more all these regulations. They had made so many new ones, and those I learnt back in my school time seems invalid now.

Some important informations

2006-03-05T22:20:00.000+08:00

I copied this information from local paper. Well, I think this is very important to some people; who are either Singaporean or Singapore PR or people who live here or people who have anything to do with Singapore.

So, after marriage, it's important to:
1. Update CPF nomination again because any nomination made before marriage becomes void afterwards.
After marriage, CPF Board will deem that no nomination has been made. And in the event of death, CPF savings will be handed to Public Trustee for distribution to family and relatives under intestacy law that spells out how to distribute assets of those who die without will.

2. Prepare a will to set aside a portion of assets for whoever you wish to give, eg. parents and relatives.
Without a will, surviving spouse with a child would inherit all the assets.
Example of will making can be found at the Law Society's website:
www.lawsociety.org.sg/html/awareness/making_a_will.htm

3. Update nomination of beneficiaris of insurance policies which was bought before marriage.
Well, for this it's quite long story. But the main point basically to encourage people to make a will (point no 2)

4. Determine clearly whether for property is owned either by joint-tenancy or tenant in common.
This is interesting, as Singaporean proposal normally related to buying HDB property.
Joint tenancy means that when one of the co-owner dies, the property will be passed to the surviving one automatically.
Tenant in common means that each owner holds a specific percentage of the property and can choose whom to give it to through a will.

Sleeveless Pictures

2006-03-04T01:50:00.000+08:00

I am putting up pictures to aid what I refer to "sleeveless" in my previous postings.

Sleeveless here is not a damn low cut that can show off boobies or the one with the very slim strings, which we normally call "spaghetti".

Well, the one I wore to mass similar to "casual sleveless"

Office Sleeveless

Casual Sleeveless

Another Sleeveless

Appropriate or Inappropriate?

2006-03-04T01:16:00.000+08:00

Anonymous said...

Hi V,

Beside the rules, there is something else called Tradition and Norm. You have to follow this in order to show respect. For example, would you go to a funeral wearing a dress for partying?

In church, especially Catholic church, you will also need to wear appropriate dress for the occasion as well. I guess for your case, wearing sleeveless is considered inappropriate.

It is just a difference in perception between L and you.

Just my 2 cents.

==================================================

Sleeveless is inappropriate to what extent?

If I go to church, wearing a mini skirt that anytime can show my panty plus wearing a damn low cut of spaghetti that can show off my boobs; as if I am going to Pub or as if I am going to be a hooker after church mass; I agreed to your example that wearing a party dress to funeral as if not respecting the sad circumstances around, is really not appropriate.

This is an extreme cases, where we can divide the line easily: it's appropriate and inappropriate.

How then we define inappropriateness for sleeveless?

Is it:
1. Inappropriate because it's too sexy?

Quoted from my previous posting:
"a normal shirt, just without a sleeve, didn't show any private part... is it distracting or impolite? why?"

2. Inappropriate because it's just too humble?

(I mean here, using back Brother L's email that saying mass is like a banquet. So, if I am just wearing a humble jeans and t-shirt to a big grand party, it's inappropriate?)

If so, why not churches make a dress rule, just like the one we normally see in the invitation card, that saying "Dress code: bloody formal"
Or just like the one Brother L mentioned, in Basilica, people who dress slack are not allowed to enter church. In this instance, why not the church warden chase me out? And whoever attended mass at that point in time, who has eyes and saw me, why not they stopped me from signing and chased me out????

Again, quoting from my previous posting:

"I had cleared my doubt this morning, and checked directly with Priest N about dress code when going for a mass.
According to him, there is no certain rule, but it's important to be modest. So, what is cosidered modest? I asked him.
He told me that as long as it's not revealing, and the one I wore (similar shirt, sleeveless) is fine."
And is it the same if I were to sign in front? I asked further. Father replied, yes."

So, again and again, how then we define inappropriateness for sleeveless?

Hoaaaa!!!!

2006-03-02T22:33:00.000+08:00

Finally my exam over yesterday. Hoaaa!!! So relieved...

Well well, not that relieved, as my previous exam's result has not out yet, and my current exam's result will be out in 1.5 months time. Cross finger!

Reply, reply and reply

2006-02-22T11:02:00.000+08:00

From: "L"

hello V,

greetings of peace and joy of our Lord Jesus Christ.sorry for the late reply. i was bogged down with assignments and i get limited time to serve the internet in the seminary. well V, how i wished you were present the other day because second hand news always sounds more juicy. My intention the other day was not to criticise or make any personal attack on you and the other interpreters. but if that is how it was perceived then there is nothing i can do about it.The church is God's house and a place of worship is always a sacred place, commanding respect and reverence for our Lord and God. V, if you are in Rome, you will not be able to get into St peters basilica for in appropriate dressing.furthermore, where you stand at mass whilst interpreting is very close to the sanctuary/altar and that demands a lot of respect and reverence. dressing appropriately as an interpreter is not only for the public but love and respect for God too. If you had a dinner invitation at the istana would you dress simply?the Mass is a heavenly Banquet and we meet the King of Kings.The Lord does not judge us from the outside but sees the heart of man.But your role as an intepreter is a prominent role at mass and need i add anymore here. we ask people not to use mobile phones, posters, projector etc. but it is still an issue in church.
likewise people who dress in mini skirts and revealing clothes etc. the church can only advise them, they ought to play their part.

you were signing the last hymn, -- not to be divulged --

Br. L

From: "V"

Hi Brother,

Thank you for your kind reply.
I do understand your point that if we were in Rome, I will not even be allowed to go in to the church. It's the rule there, and they implement it strictly. But how about Singapore? especially, in SMOTA?

I had cleared my doubt this morning, and checked directly with Priest N about dress code when going for a mass.
According to him, there is no certain rule, but it's important to be modest. So, what is cosidered modest? I asked him.
He told me that as long as it's not revealing, and the one I wore (similar shirt, sleeveless) is fine.
And is it the same if I were to sign in front? I asked further. Father replied, yes.

As for your second last email, -- not to be divulged --

Last but not least, good luck for your assignments. Thank you for taking time in reading and replying this email.

From: "L"

dear V,

the word Catholic means universal, the church that we are a part of has Jesus as the corner stone.Together we make the Church. the Catholic church is so rich in rites and Liturgy and certainly meaningful too. the fact that the Catholic church is universal means it is the same whether in Rome , New York or even in my hometown Malacca. sadly though, affluency and modernisation has affected the way people look at places of worship especially in the Catholic church. God Bless you and your loved ones always.
Br. L.

My long long email

2006-02-15T18:23:00.000+08:00

Hi Brother L,

My name is V. I was the one who signed few songs for last Sunday mass with the deaf. Certainly you will remember if I say "sleeveless girl".

I left the pot luck gathering early. Nevertheless, I had received your feedback about my dress code, sleeveless.

May I know, what is wrong with wearing sleeveless?
Is it church's rule to wear sleeve to attend mass? if a must, where is it stated?

In particular case to SMOTA, did any of church rule say that we have to be sleeved?
If yes, why not they make it a compulsory and put signs... let everyone know especially those with spaghetti..
I think it's unfair if there is nothing said about this, and suddenly when people step into the church and was critisized for wearing certain kind of clothes..
I am wondering whether the priest ever ever in their preach mention about this as well?

Aside of that, what is wrong with being sleeveless (not to mention of wearing spaghetti)
if one almost show off their private part or even legs, then this can be categorized as distracting, not good and impolite, yes i do agree
a normal shirt, just without a sleeve, didn't show any private part...
is it distracting or impolite? why?

Where is it in the bible talking about the our dress code when we are to praise and worship God?
To my humble knowledge, God only says that when we pray, we must do it sincerely, not to do it in the market or crowded place rather, to go into a closed room and say our pray
nah, which part of the church rule says that we must dress in certain manner to attend the mass?
did God say that only those who wear presentably then can come to worship me?
Which one God wants his children to be, faithful or wearing a presentable dress?

I am saddened to learn that in the place where one should serve one another, dress code is more important than the spirit to serve.

Before I left the gathering, I had received 2 feedbacks. And it came from
another interpreter. To me and those friends that I told them about, the feedbacks were so demoralizing. I shall not elaborate further about the feedbacks in this email.

I still remember 1 or 2 year ago, I stood in choir row, singing with 10.45 choir. And suddenly 1 day, I saw a group of deaf in front of me, praising and worshipping God. Just by worshipping God in all their means, they had touched my heart and my faith. I know that I had so much more than them, but they show me what greater faith is.

A choir friend encouraged me to just approached them and thank them for being there with us for the mass. And finally, I gathered my spirit, and approached and thanked them. I think God has given me chance to serve them now. I picked up the sign language and learning to be of service to them.

All the while, SMOTA is relying only on few interpreters. Some of them can't
make it on regular basis.
A few months ago, there were once no interpreters came at all. Only left us,
students, who just began to learn sign language, tried hopelessly to help,
but to no result. We can't interpret well, and we know how limited we are.
But what touched us the most was the support from the deaf. They understood
us. And they still give us a warm thank you.

I do understand that to the deaf people, being in the silent world, where
rely only on eyes to see what other people do and what they mumble, without any guidance about what is going on, is not easy. And to the new interpreters, stand in front of that place, when you feel so many eyes staring at you. Maybe to some who often perform in front of people, it's nothing to be scared of. Not to some of us. We are scared, but for the sake of our deaf brothers and sisters, we try to overcome what we scared the most. It's not easy, but thankfully those people we serve understand us.

Brother, will you agree if I say that what is more important is with what we
have, we serve our deaf brother? I can only give my time and dedication. If
all little things, like my name and my dress code is more important to be critisized, pardon me to say, it serve no value to the deaf.

If I sounds like I do not like to be critisized, I don't mean to. I do accept feedback, and most appreciative if the feedback is direct. I hope among Catholics, we should help each other of the less constructively.

Let us stand back and think, what is more important to help the deaf community to worship God. Also by helping them, believe we had done our part to worship God.

I was saddened that what matter the most to all the hearing people are these little things. What matter the most, is to let other knows that others' knowledge is lousier; rather than to teach each other so that everyone is improving and in the end will give better contribution. Do we really understand what our deaf brothers and sisters really need?

Quitting from Catholic teaching?

2006-02-14T00:04:00.000+08:00

me: is it true that if we go to church, we should not wear sleeveless?
me: which part of the church rule says that?
fren: well.. it's advisable not to wear sleeveless
me: where the rule comes from?
fren: because it seems impolite
me: where in the bible states that we must wear what kind of apparel??
me: did God say that when you serve him you must dress up in certain apparell?
me: as long as I know, God only says that when we pray, we must do it sincerely
me: not to do it in the market or crowded place
me: rather to go into a closed room and say your pray
me: nah which part of the church rule says that we must dress in certain manner to attend the mass?
me: did God say that only those who wear presentably that can come to worship me?
fren: God maybe didn't write about it in details, but even it exists, I am not sure where it states
me: which one God wants his children to be, faithful or wearing a presentable dress?
me: if it says, presentable dress
me: fine
me: i am quitting from church
me: no point following this law
me: it's human law
me: human makes it sounds like a god's law
fren: as far as I can remember...try to make yourself look presentable in God's eyes
me: it's human's selfishness that covers what god teaches us
me: I am presenting God what I did
me: if to God sleeveless is more important than what I did for him
me: fine
me: if to God sleeveless is impolite
me: fine
me: i'm quit

Dilemma on being a Catholic

2006-02-13T20:16:00.000+08:00

I signed 3 songs during last Sunday mass.

Beforehand, I was sort of cautioned that the mass will be more crowded than usual as some deaf and interpreters from other church would join our mass and proceed with the pot luck gathering.

Well well, I learned all the 3 songs completely only on last Friday. First, lunch with a friend who is experience in signing and after that proceeded with the night class. On Saturday and Sunday, I did practised many time so that I wouldn't make much mistake during signing as the 3 songs are quite fast and I am considered slow in signing.

On that day, my hand was cold like ice. A friend of mine thought I was going to faint. I told her that I was very very nervous because I have to sign 3 songs, and there were so many people there.

So, I did try my best. Initially, my hands were even shaking. But the deaf members did give me moral support and signing along with me. Though I can't score perfectly with all the practises I had done, I was sort of happy with the result.

Then after the mass, we proceeded with the potluck gathering. I brought potato chips. My toothache was reacting again after I was sort of calm down from my nervousness. Well, though I got toothache my stomach was growling like mad. Asking me to shut them with some food. So, I took food, a bit here and there. Though not much, I had planned to slowly eating them.

Then, I looked for a table to sit, and found 1 with some of my classmates and deaf sitting around the table. I went there, sat at the empty chair. The moment I put my butt on the chair, another interpreter from other church chatted with me. I was sort of happy, wahh... so friendly. Then, he asked why my sign name (name for deaf and interpreter, normally there is association with the initial as well as the hobby or characteristics of that person) looked like peace. Then I counter his question by telling him that the sign peace for deaf people is not like that. He said that the sign 'V'is universal sign for peace so this might cause deaf people to confuse. He continued again critisizing the name. After happily critisizing my sign name, he continued critisizing the way I sign during mass. I told him that it was thought by the friar, who is my teacher. Then he told me he disagreed and critisized until he left the table.

By the time he left the table, he had ruined my mood completely. All my friends comforting me, but the porridge can't be turned to rice anymore. Not long after that, my friend told me that she would leave soon. So, I told her that I would join her as I can't possibly stand this gathering anymore.

I told this story to many friends of mine for the past 2 days. All of them find this man was rather unreasonable. But, I was still unsatisfied, I know something inside me was still waiting to explode.

So, I just made a call to that friend who taught me the songs during lunch. She even told me that aside of several other critics about the rest, I was critisized for wearing a sleeveless for mass. MY GOD!!!! And if not wrong, the one critisized me was a brother who will be a priest soon.

I had felt so demoralised for doing this charity and getting this kind of reply. I had never imagined that it must be so difficult just to serve God. I am not being paid for doing all this, and I did spend some money and a lot of my time to learn all these and to get this kind of treatment, I should ask, am I really deserved for this? Had I done something wrong. There are many ways of giving feedback. One that demoralise other, is it considered Catholic's way?

If by wearing a sleeveless is wrong, why is there no a dress code in the church telling us hey, you should dress properly. Does it mean that poor people who do not have money to buy a proper shirt is not allowed in church?

I know that I can afford to wear other shirt, like office wear. But is it written in the bible that I have to wear office wear???????!!!!!
Is it written in the bible that a girl who wear sleeveless is not allowed to serve church in what she believes rather in what she wears????

I am sad!! Indeed angry! I don't know whether I have to continue with what I am doing. I know the ones who demoralize me are not the one I am serving. But one of them is the priest to be. Is it really what God wants???

Blue Lense (Story No 2)

2006-02-10T09:13:00.000+08:00

I have put on the blue lenses starting beginning of this month. Initially, I didn't realize there is a slight difference of colour. Only when I checked my passport photo's result, I realized something was wrong with the colour.

My left eye looked more blue as compared to the right one. It makes my both eyes looked unbalanced. And initially, this silly girl thought that her eye ball was different in colour. One is darker and one is lighter. Only yesterday than I made an effort to compare the 2 lenses, and found out that my eye balls are fine. They are both same colour. The faulty lies on the coloured lenses.

Kinda dissapointed. I still have 1 more boxes and checking yesterday, I found out that the 2 lenses are also uneven. Aiyoo....

Life

2006-01-27T11:11:00.000+08:00

I had a long thinking this morning while I was in the train going to office. Not too sure whether it's due to lack of sleep (last night I slept at around 1 plus) or it's a "calling".

I was thinking about this year 2006. You see, every year, we have to add 1 to the number. So, next year will 2007 and so on and so on... And if we looked back, it started with 1, 2, 3, ...., until 999 and millenium 1,000. 6 years ago, we just celebrated another millenium 2,000. It's so scary time flies and people are aging and dying.

So, where do people go after they died? I don't know. How it feels when 1 die? Is it painful? I watched a chinese series about last time heroes. There is this clerk, Song Jiang, he was about to be massacrated. His so called "brother", not brother by blood, told him not to be afraid. Dying is just like sleeping. You won't feel anything. Is it?

Well, this is not the first time I think about this topic. But further to this, I continued with my own thinking. What have I done in this life? What is my fulfillment? What is my achievement? What I want to have in this life?

Looking back, I didn't have much fulfillment, as I was just going through my life just as it is. I grew up, enter University, graduated, and now working. Will I be happy one day when the time flashes (you know, like in the movie, when 1 die, the story of his life flashing before his eyes), will I be happy of my past and leave this world peacefully?

I am still thinking the meaning of my existence. I had fulfilled some of my wishes. And I had met some bitches out there, who tried to ruin my life. Why should there be a conflict of interest in this world? Why would one have to be cruel to other? Self satisftying purposes?

I know this article sounds eerie. As if I am going to do something stupid. Not too worry, I just had this thinking. There is no silly intention of ending my life. I will continue thinking of what will fulfill my life.

Chinese New Year's advice

2006-01-26T14:13:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year (CNY) is round the corner. It's a joyous occasion, where family will gather to celebrate and youngsters will pay a visit to their elders, and receive ang bao plus "advice".

I have read about negativity of CNY to some "outkast" people;
single (don't have boy or girlfriend),
attached (attached for too long),
married (married but not yet have baby).
This outkast group of people normally will try their best to avoid any reunion during this period. Either taking tour, travel to other countries or make themselves as busy as they could.

Why? Some of you who belongs to this group will know the answer. You know, those "kay poh" uncles or aunties, whose daughters/ sons are "successful" ones, will ask you many many questions until you wish to hang them together with your laundry. Or they may cause you to loose your appetite during lunch/ dinner.

Most questions that will be asked:
Single - So, do you have any boy/ girlfriend currently?
- I know a good guy/ girl. He/ she is bla.. bla... bla... Do you want me to introduce you to him/ her?
Attached (time to get married) - So, how arh? when you two got married arh? I know this owner of restaurant. You can discount from him erh...
- You know youngster nowadays like to delay their marriage, bla.. bla.. bla... I think it's a good time to get married leh... both of you work already bla.. bla.. bla....
Married (don't have baby yet) - So baby when come out arh?
- aiyo.. don't use protection liao lah... bla.. bla.. bla....

What does your name begin with?

2006-01-26T14:08:00.000+08:00

Does your name begin with: A
U are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action.You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get.You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up-front person. You often don't get hints & you ever pass any. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is! intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important for you. You tend to be very Practical, & not very emotional Your choices are very good & can only lead to trouble. You are very self satisfied & egoistic.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: B
You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an _expression of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your _expression of endearments, and particular when it comes to love. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appetite & feelings. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: C
You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a relationship. You require closeness and togetherness. You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable and good-looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sensual, Needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to hold out on affection until you receive this.. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: D
Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full Steam ahead in your suit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement's, sometimes possessive and jealous. You are very sharp & talented often with sense of humour. When people bother to look deep inside they cannot resist what they see. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open attitude. You get jealous of other people and lose your temper .
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: E
Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while-it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important. But once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. You will fall asleep with a good book. sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good book to a lover)
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: F
You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find. You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are a born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are a favourite fantasy past time. You can be a very generous lover. ___________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: G
You are fastidious, seeking perfection within yourself and your lover. You respond to a lover who is yourintellectual equal or superior, and one who can enhance your status. You are sensuous and know how to reach the peak of stimulation, because you work at it meticulously. You can be extremely active-never tiring out. Your duties and responsibilities take precedence over everything else. You may have difficulty getting emotionally close to people.
________________________________________________________
Does your name begin with: H
You seek a mate who can enhance your zest for life ,fun & everything You seek for. You will be very generous to your lover once you have Attained a commitment. You are very affectionate & very strong. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend to be very careful with your every move and equally cautious in your involvement's often as you believe that you have to look out for yourself. You are a sensual and patient lover. You will hold off till everything meets your full approval. You are a perfectionist, hard to satisfy and strong in your beliefs. Not influential, you always stand your ground. People can always count on you to stand by them in a crisis. You are a dreamer with/ a passion for life.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: I (mran)
You have a great need to be loved, appreciated... even worshiped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You like necking spend hours just touching feeling & exploring. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of _expression. You bore easily and thus require adventure and change. Your commitments don't last very long & you often tend to stray. Loyalty is not one of your strong points. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are sometimes downright lustful.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: J
You are blessed with a great deal of physical energy. When used for a good cause there is nothing to stop you, except maybe that they aren't always used for the good. (you could dance all night.) You respond to the thrill of the chase and the challenge of the mating game.You can carry on great romances in your head. At heart you are a roamer and need to set out on your own every so often. You will carry on long- distance relationships with ease. You are idealistic and need to believe in love. You have a need to be nurtured deep within.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: K
You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy, sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless. You are kind-natured & sweet, which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: L
You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your _expression of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it's all in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated. "You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being appreciated ".
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: M
You may appear innocent, unassuming and shy; but we know that Appearances can lie. When it comes to sex, you are no novice but something of a skilled technician. You can easily go to extremes, though, running the gamut from insatiability to boredom with the whole idea of love. You can be highly critical of you mate, seeking perfection in both of you. It is not easy to find someone who can meet your standards. You have difficulty expressing emotions and drawing close to lovers. You are often selfish, thinking you are always right no matter what. You never give in. Winning is your prime desire- at any cost. You often forget friends and family and you live for the moment.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: N
You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you Throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all-consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You believe in total freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of energy is inexhaustible. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You also enjoy mothering your mate. You often have the greatest love affairs all by yourself, in your head. You are very imaginative.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: O
You are very interested in fun activities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your energy into making money and/or seeking we. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate, compassionate lover, requiring the same qualities From your mate. Love is serious business; thus you demand intensity, diversity and is willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in check.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: P
You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't think of Doing anything that might harm your image or Reputation. Appearances count. Therefore, you require a good-looking partner. You also require an intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy...a good fight stimulates those vibes. You are relatively free of hang- ups.You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things.You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a good deal of physical gratification.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: Q
You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical energy. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people because of their ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers, and conversation to turn you on and keep you going.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: R
You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal-the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is not very important to you. You have to be proved to be worthy for a partner. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: S
For you, it is pleasure before business. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and is capable of much sensuality. But you never loose control of your emotions. Once you make the commitment you stick like glue. You could get jealous and possessive. You tend to be very selfish often regarding yourself as the only human being on the planet.. You like being the centre of attention. You are very caring sensitive, private & sometimes very passive. Turned on by soft lights, romantic thoughts. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role, or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the rightperson to come along. You are very generous & giving, often selfless. You are kind nature & sweet which is found to be attractive by many. You are a good friend.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: T
You are very sensitive, private & sometimes very passive. You like someone who takes the lead. You get turned on by music, soft lights & romantic thoughts. You fantasize & tend to fall in & out of love soon. When in love you are romantic, idealistic, mushy & extremely. You enjoy having your senses & your feelings stimulated, titillated & teased. You are a great flirt. You can make your relationships fit your dreams, all in your own head. Once you put your mind to something you manage to stand by it and see your dreams through. You aren't very good at expressing your feelings. You like things your own way. You do not like change, you like to hold on to things. This may not always be good because if given an opportunity things may develop into great things. You work your way to the top. Attention must be given to what others say because even though you don't want to hear it their advice may turn out to save your life. !
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: U
You are enthusiastic & at your happiest when in love. When not in love you're in love with love and always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as challenge. You are a roamer & needs adventure, excitement freedom. You enjoy giving gifts & looking good. You are willing to put others feelings above yours.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: V
You are individualistic & you need freedom, space & excitement. You wait till you know someone well before committing yourself. Knowing someone means psyching her/him out. You feel a need to get into his/her head to see what makes him tick. You are attracted to eccentric types. You believe that age is no barrier. You are good at responding to danger, fear & suspense.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: W
You are very proud, determined & refuses to take no for an answer when it come to love. Your ego is at stake all the time. You are romantic, idealistic, often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner for who she or he really is. You feel deeply about love & tends to throw all of your self into a relationship. Nothing is too good for your lover. You like playing love games.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: X
You need constant stimulation because you get bored quickly. You can handle more than 1 relationship at a time with ease. You can't shut off your mind. You can do 2 things at once. You are very talented.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: Y
You are sensual & very independent. If you can't have it your way, you will forget the whole thing. You want to control your relationships which doesn't work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation. However if you can make money you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic.
---------------------------------
Does your name begin with: Z
You are very romantic but show feels that to love means to suffer. You wind up serving your mate & attracting people who have unusual trouble. You see yourself as a lover's saviour.

Tai Tai to be says:

2006-01-18T15:25:00.000+08:00

Mc D advertisement

2006-01-13T10:46:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: I am not paid by Mc Donald to write nor I have any relation with the company.

Mc D has come out with latest meal that looks like Mos Burger's rice burger meal. Well, for the promotional price of around $6, I feel that the meal is more feeling than the Mos'.

Anyway, I am not going to say more about the meal, I am more interested with the TV advertisement. Where the 2 lead singers, zha bor and da bor, sing and dance. I find that the girl's voice is sweet. Can feel the flow. Her voice just different and easy to my ear.

I ever see a close up Soprano while she is singing. To create a flowing sound, I saw her tounge vibrating while the mouth steady. Don't know how to describe. But I think even if I were to practise singing for 10 more years, I will still not be able to create such impressive voice. Think all these singers normally have special talent so they can sing so "fantastically"

Molest

2006-01-09T16:39:00.000+08:00

I read yesterday paper about a number of girls being molested during the christmas and new year midnight "spray" session. It goes like this: the molester spray the poor victim on the face. And when she can't see, the molester "touch here and there". Eeeehhhhh!!!! so disgusting!!! Some girls though were not touched physically, they were sprayed on their middle or lower part. Yikess!!!

Being sprayed on new year midnight myself, never in my mind thought that some of the people passing me by or even spraying me could be those stupid molesters. So eerie! I can't really remember whether anyone was trying to be funny to me, but I was quite lucky not to be touched. Even the spray mostly were on my hair or cardigan.

So sickening of those guys who resort to such thing like this. Spoilt people's mood of having a joyous and fun christmas and new year.

Raining

2006-01-08T21:29:00.000+08:00

It's been raining for the past 2 days. And as result, all my clothes still wet. Ahh.. actually I love to see rain, but the wet clothes have somehow disturbed my weekend ironing activity. To make it worse, after my flatmate fried some food this afternoon, my clothes were smelly. Well well, I had re-washed some of the clothes, so another waiting period for me.

Last Friday when I went to sign language class, the friar told me to sign only 1 song. I didn't know whether I was suppose to be happy or to be disappointed as I had practised hard all the 4 songs for the whole week.

So this morning, I came a bit early to ask him few words that I forgot to clarify last Friday. Then I continued to practise the 1 song that I need to sign. When the mass started, the girl, who supposed to sign for the opening mass, didn't come. So, I moved forward to help covering her. But towards the middle, nobody came. I was panicky. Fortunately 1 senior intrepeter came. I was darn relieved. Mann!!! I dreaded to sign spontaneously as I will just make myself as a clown, and the deaf society will not get anything.

In the end, I managed to sign for the 3 songs I had practised earlier. The final song was a bit fast and luckily the friar signed for it.

I could feel my hand as cold as ice. Even before the mass started, friar has told me to calm down. He can sense my panicky! End of the mass, the deaf society gave me a big "horray". Thanks to their support, I felt much better. Think basically everybody can sense I was so panic from beginning to the end. Haha... anyway, I feel so happy.

Blue Lense

2006-01-06T16:26:00.000+08:00

Yup yup... I bought the blue colour lense already. Yesterday I went to collect, but it was not ready yet. Disappointed with the service as they promised to call me if it's not ready, but in the end I have to make a return trip next week.

I had made my plan to start using them on middle of next March. Hihihi... obid colour, so people will surely notice that I put on coloured lense :p

Oh yah, this week has been a busy week to me. For the whole week didn't lunch with Vampire Queen, Jess, Winnie the Pooh and Dodo. Missed lunching with them.

Next Sunday I am appointed to sign few songs during mass. Well, I know how limited my vocabulary is. So, I got to prepare and practise all the songs this week. I did my own prediction as to which songs I will sign and prepared the materials by myself. Fortunately my flatmate is still in choir, so I got the song list for next week mass from her, and I still keep the "old" song book(ehem... I was in choir last time leh :p).

So, this week I had been lunching with my friend who is expert in sign language. She taught me the signing for those songs and today I demonstrated what I have learnt the past few days. She made some correction here and there. So, at least I got it 80%. Well, the 20% of course the practise before the D-day. I hope I will not embarass myself like last time. Cross my finger....

Happy New Year!!!!

2006-01-01T18:17:00.000+08:00

Dear all,

Happy New Year to you!!! ^__^

I just woke up and it's raining outside now. What a wonderful New Year.

Well, last night I had a memorable night. I went to watch the fireworks at Esplanade. We arrived there at 9, and many people were there already. It was not that crowded yet, and we can still choose our best viewing spot. Then at 9 something, I think I need to wee wee, so taking my girl friends, we looked for toilet. We ended up at toilet in Raffles Place MRT. Long queues, but never mind.. it's urgent...

So, at about 10 something, after the long walk and long queues, the guy friends who were "chopping" our best spot called us. Hurried us to come back as the human traffic was unbelievable. My first time to Esplanade, so I wasn't that prepared.. I only thought that Orchard will be the most crowded place.

So, when I reached the merlion, I was horrified with the traffic. Man!!! It was alot of people!!! And so embarassing, we have to squeezed and trespass their territories. Well, think I made a lot of "Sorry.. So sorry.. excuse me and sorry" statement.

Then when 12 o'clock striked, the fireworks started. It was WONDERFUL!!! Being a "san zhu" (mountain pig) myself, I think I was really fortunate to see so beautiful the fireworks was. We really choose a very strategic spot as I can feel that I am under the fireworks, and the things could easily fell on me. It was just like in a dream, or in the movie.... ^__^

But when the all the good show finished, and we had to head out, it was a nightmare. Imagine being sandwiched in the human ocean. I searched hard for fresh air. Well, the experience was good, but not advisable for children, pregnant or mature people. Other way is to stay back and wait until the crowd gone, but it will be super long waiting time.

Then poor us, got to walk back to Orchard. Hehehe.. but it was fun!!! Though my slipper was killing me, but there was fun of avoiding people spraying foam to us. Well, don't know why I was sprayed quite a lot?!?!

Anyway friends, happy new year to you!!!! ^___^

What colour is your Brain??

2005-12-23T09:58:00.000+08:00

Mine is gold. Here is the result:

What Color is Your Brain?
brought to you by Quizilla

At work or in school: I like set routines and organized ways of doing thingsl rules and directions are a great help to me. I prefer to stay on one topic at a time. I need to know what is expected of me, and I always want to know if I am on the right track. I like subjects that are useful and traditional, such as business, accounting, history and government.
With friends: I prefer people who are careful with their money and who make plans ahead of time. I like my friends to be loyal, dependable and on time. I am serious about love and show it in many practical ways.
With family: I like stability and security and enjoy traditions and frequent celebrations. I like to spend holidays with family members, and I plan ahead for such gatherings.

$2

2005-12-22T14:07:00.000+08:00

I remembered during my U-days when $5 meal was so expensive to me. Whenever I bought a meal, I would make a point to eat it until the last grain as I didn't have enough money to snack later on.

There was once when my U-mate asked me to join health screening held in our school. I went through everything, and at the end of the session we were persuade to donate money. The minimum was $2 per month.

To some, $2 per month might sounds little. But to me, having to save and scrimp as much as I can in order to survive living here, $2 is BIG $$$. Imagine I can have 1 meal for it. And imagine I got to skip a meal every month for the donation.

Anyway, in the end I didn't opt for monthly donation. Think I gave them a one time donation, which I forgot how much.

Now, back to Dec 2005, with all the news that I read recently I was kind of glad that I didn't sacrifice my once a month meal to feed other people's credit card, cash card, bonus, OT pay, golden tap or whatever it calls to be. Again, I know the $2 is not much to some people. But, imagine those who already donated the money and they themselves might not have enough for their living? If you were the one in their shoes, what would you feel?

So sian

2005-12-20T15:01:00.000+08:00

My first day of working for this week. I have felt so darn miserable, especially when someone(s) "made*" my day.

*made --> to ruin or mess up

Coloured Lense

2005-12-16T15:38:00.000+08:00

I have been wearing coloured lense for the past 3 months, and the only person knew something different with my eyes was 1 of my flatmate. The rest either knew that I was going to buy coloured lense or after I gave "very obvious" hints.

I have planned to buy a more bold colour so that I can really feel wearing coloured lense. I might choose blue colour, since my current ones are green and hazel (radiance lense). Hehe... ^__^

Nice Quotes

2005-12-15T14:43:00.000+08:00

Nice quotes to share with you guys

"You will find as you look back upon your life, that the moments when you have truly lived, are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love."
By : Henry Drummond (1851-1897) Clergyman and writer

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back."
By : Barbara De Angelis, Relationship expert and inspirational speaker

"The mistake we make is when we seek to be loved, instead of loving."
By : Charlottee Yonge (1823 - 1901), Writer

The effect of Bird Flu

2005-12-15T13:48:00.000+08:00

Check Passport Information

2005-12-13T13:49:00.000+08:00

I didn't know that our profiles are so easily found in internet. I got this link from someone's blog. You can actually check basically anyone's passport information. So scary!!!!

Misleading

2005-12-13T13:39:00.000+08:00

Draw Pig ~ Personality Test

2005-12-12T16:39:00.000+08:00

My test result:

1. Toward the middle of the frame, you are a realist.

2. Facing front, you are direct, enjoy playing devil's advocate and neither fear nor avoid discussions.

3. With few details, you are emotional and naive, you care little for details and are a risk-taker.

4. With 4 legs showing, you are secure, stubborn, and stick to your ideals.

5. The size of the ears indicates how good a listener you are. You are a poor listener.

6. The length of the tail indicates the quality of your sex life. You have a poor sex life.
(--> ouch... my poor future hubby.. hahaha)

Try yours and let me know, okie?

Ouhhh... Darn Paisek erh?!

2005-12-11T14:35:00.000+08:00

Today, as usual, I attended the mass together with the deaf community. But something big happened. The experts, who normally sign for the deaf community didn't come. Left us all the beginner, who know only signing a little bit here and there.

So, two of my friend volunteered to help. They did their very best, but to the deaf we were extremely sucks. I was also trying to help my friends from my seat. Then, at almost end of the mass, after communion, I volunteered to help. All I was thinking was to share their burden. They looked so stress afterwards.

So, there I was, standing in front. It was my first time. Some of the deaf was like clapping their hand when I stood there. I knew they meant good, to encourage me. But, I felt the pressure. I knew how limited my signing knowledge was. Trying my very best, at the end, I turned out to laugh, giggle and panicky. When I tried to sign what the priest just said, he has moved to the next sentence, and I couldn't catch. So, I was like "huh?" "ooh?" "ehh???"

I didn't even look at the deaf as I was too panic. I got a stage freight. I kept giggling until I gave up. Ohh geezzz!!!

It was so much easier to sign from my seat. But when I was standing there, I completely like an idiot, who knows zero about sign language. And my bo liao personality didn't help either, as I was busy giggling and laughing and made stupid move when I was hopeless. Think God will whip my buttock because I turned the solemn mass to be a circus joke.

At the end of the mass, my hands have turned cold. It's just like my the other 2 friends of mine. Now I understand their plight. Arrrrrrgggggghhhhh...... !!!!!!

Kenny Roger's lunch

2005-12-09T14:03:00.000+08:00

Went there with Vampire Queen, Jess, Winnie the Pooh and Dodo for lunch. It was my first dine in there.

I ordered the set lunch, black pepper chicken. So, the lady took out a piece of chicken. It looked quite small from my angle. Aside of it, we can order either 1 hot + 1 cold dish or 2 hot or 2 cold. I chose the spaghetti's friend (forgot the name) + vegetable (healthy mah...)

For the set lunch, I also entitled for 1 soup. It was super milky soup, but nice...

Winnie the Pooh, Dodo and Jess ordered the cheesy spaghetti's friend (again, don't know the name). It's nice!!!! Super cheesy... it's like you are swimming in the pool of cheese... hehehe

I can't finish my spaghetti's friend and vegetable. But I tried my very best to clear the chickin'. It looks small, but so feeling. I also helped to clear some of their food, especially the cheesy thing and the nyummi corn. Well, neighbour's grass always looks greener. At the end, I took a sip from Dodo's ice tea.

Intend to come back again next time... ^__^

Protest!!

2005-12-09T09:47:00.000+08:00

When you want to protest of something, do it with dignity just like below protestors:

Health Screening

2005-12-08T15:26:00.000+08:00

I just went to health screening this afternoon. The result, everything was good, except that I am underweight. I got to gain at least 2 kg more, so that I am qualified to the band of "just nice".

Well, the nurse advise me to build my muscle. So, I got to do weight management exercise. Hmm... maybe when I go to Gym, I should try go to guys area there and do their weight lifting. I can imagine they will be rolling on the floor and laughing at this poor girl -__-!

The saddest Picture in the World

2005-12-08T13:28:00.000+08:00

IT TOUCHES EVERYONE'S HEART (ALMOST EVERYONE) !!!
IT TOUCHES MINE !!! WHAT ABOUT YOU ???

Positive Thinking

2005-12-08T13:24:00.000+08:00

Many people have advised me to have positive thinking. It seems to be difficult, nevertheless I have learnt from the email I received today:

Positive Thinking is like this :
A little bird in the sky...................................
U look up and it shits in your eye..................
U don't mind & U don't cry............................
U just thank GOD that elephants don't fly.......

(he ........ he ........... he)

Psychology Test

2005-12-05T14:42:00.000+08:00

This is a psychology test from USA.

Read the story and answer the question that follows :
1. Lily and Mike are a loving couple but they live on opposite sides of a "not too deep" river
2. One day, Mike falls seriously ill and Lily is extremely worried
3. Lily wants to cross the river to visit Mike but Mike stops her from doing so because there is a heavy thunderstorm and there are strong waves
4. Lily is insistent and approaches her friend, Brian (owner of a boat) for help
5. Brian agrees to help but asks for $1 mil in return
6. Despite her pleas, Brian ignores her. As Lily is not rich, she leaves Brian's house
7. Lily goes to see Steve (owner of another boat)
8. Steve agrees readilly but wants Lily to spend a night with him
9. Lily sacrifices for Mike's sake and Steve keeps his promise by letting Lily use the boat
10. Under Lily's care, Mike recovers but finds out later that Lily has spent a night with Steve
11. Out of jealousy, Mike severes his relationship with Lily
12. Lily is extremely sad but soon gets to know Fred
13. Fred is much older than her but confesses his love for her even though he knows her past
14. Though Lily does not show much affection for Fred, Fred respects and loves her none-the-less

Here comes the question :
List the names of the individuals incl. Lily (in order of your "liking"), in other words, if you like Mike the most, Steve second, Fred third, Brian fourth and dislike Lily, your ranking will be : M S F B L

3 tips on mobile phone

2005-12-05T09:57:00.000+08:00

I received an email about this subject. Not too sure whether it's true or not, but I know one blog that talked about no 2. So, suppose it's true?

1) Emergency number
The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112.
If you find yourself out of coverage area of your mobile network and thereis an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing networkto establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly..........................................................................this number 112can be dialed even while the keypad is locked.

2) Locked the keys in the car? Your car has remote keys?
This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you happen to lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are home, call someone on your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the other person at your home press the unlockbutton, holding it near the phone on their end.............................................................. Your car will unlock.
Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object.You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who hasthe other "remote" for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).
Editor's Note: *It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car overa cell phone!"

3) Hidden Battery power
Imagine your cell battery is very low, u r expecting an important call and you don't have a charger. Nokia instrument comes with a reserve battery. To activate, press the keys *3370# Your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when u charge your cell next time.

It's Friday!!!

2005-12-02T13:34:00.000+08:00

So happy it's Friday. Though I didn't have enough sleep last night, the feeling wasn't that sian. Maybe my new portfolio also helps alot.

I learnt this phrase last night from a korea drama:
"The horse's strength is tested from the long journey"

Actually the korea drama was about a married young lady, who were facing dilemma. She and her husband got married not out of love, but due to marriage arrangement by their grandparents. So, she knows that her husband doesn't love her, and now there is third party in their marriage. The lady was her husband's first love. Oh ow....

Then the grandpa sensed something must be wrong when he saw her not in her usual mood and told her the phrase. The grandpa asked her to believe her husband.

.................................... *speechless*

Courtesy

2005-11-30T22:20:00.000+08:00

I was crossing to red line train when I saw a blind young man. I saw him being led by a middle aged chinese lady into the same train. When he had stood safely in the train, this lady went out from the train and disappeared from my sight.

I saw and watched him standing. I saw empty seats, but I didn't have the guts to approach him and ask him whether he wish to sit. So, standing in about 4 footsteps away from him, I just watched him quietly.

He was standing firmly throughout the journey. When the train was about to reach my destination, he unfolded his stick, apparently he was going to alight at the same destination. So, I maintained a good distance from him, just in case I could help him if he needs.

You know, some of the commuters are rather kiasu. They just like to push and shove to get their way out. But, it was miracle. Apparently, everyone, who saw him walking with the stick, made way for him. I was rather amazed.

And when I tried to catch him outside the train, he was near to the escalator. I was watching in weary. Afraid that he will need help to walk down the escalator. And again, amazingly, he made it. I saw another middle aged lady hold his hand near to the escalator. I am not too sure, but I assumed she was helping him. He then walked down the escalator safely.

Again, I tried to catch him near the station control. But, when I caught him in my eyesight, a man, I guess he is also middle age, was holding his arm and gently show him the way.

I was truly amazed. Indeed, I was imagined if this guy is in my hometown, what will happen? Will someone show and lead him the way like Singaporean do? I was amazed because the commuters that normally so kiasu was able to be courteous.

On the other hand, I feel rather ashamed. Normally, I will let my seat for other, except in the morning when I will sleep and do not know what is going on, but this time round, I just lost my guts to ask him. I felt that I was kinda bad. I learnt that simple gesture for the less, will mean alot to them.

Ulcer

2005-11-29T09:29:00.000+08:00

I got a big ulcer in my mouth. It's so inconvenient and painful, especially if I want to eat something. This ulcer just deprive me successfully from doing my fanciest hobby, eating.

I was wondering what caused this ulcer? is it lack of sleep, stress and too much heaty food?

Talking about sleep, I really want to sleep now. So sleepy....

Break Free

2005-11-24T17:05:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... Free from Dinosaurs, Free from Stupido, Free from Gannasai!!!! though still gannasai... hahahaha

Suan Le Ba.....

2005-11-23T13:52:00.000+08:00

I think this is the best picture to describe what I feel

What is the title of the song?

2005-11-22T22:54:00.000+08:00

Anyone knows this song:

"Shi ge nan ren, qi ge sha, ba ge dai, jiu ge huai, hai you yi ge ren ren ai, jian mei men tiao zhu lai"
(of 10 men, 7 are stupid, 8 are crazy, 9 are bad.......)
" Jiou shan tian yuan, mi yu, pa ta tian guo lai, hao hao ai bu zhai ran ta li kai'?

Can teach me the whole song??!!???

Corporate Dinner

2005-11-17T13:39:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is our corporate dinner. It also means the day I am going to miss Dang Ou... *sob sob...*

Planned to wear something dark in colour as the dress code is formal. Jess is going to wear black and Vampire Queen will wear pink.

I read the latest email about tomorrow dinner, those that invited can leave early at 4pm. For me, this is simply impossible. Think there will be some monkeys there try to prevent me leaving early....

Have tried to clear my emails from morning, but they seem endless. Haizz... imagine those are only 3 days emails.

Think I am really bored with this job...

Independence Day

2005-11-16T18:35:00.000+08:00

I finished my exam today. Horrayyy!!!!

Only 1 paper, but the battle seems like forever. Don't know why I think this is one of the most xiong papers too... And the assignment did not help either. It's so darn difficult!!!!

Nvm... let bygone be bygones... or whatever it is, if it is not correct phrasing...

So, I will watch Dang Ou in few minutes to come... owhh.. I missed my Dang Ou... ^__^
Have planned to have indepence night later.. first by completing my last Asterix (borrowed 7 Asterix last week, and read 6 already... hard working girl huh?)
Then also, I will watch Korea drama... My friend borrowed from her friend and will soon return them.. So, I got to jia you watching all the series... hehehe... what a life... it's always so nice to feel independent after exam (irregardless of mixed feeling after battling in exam hall)

Assignment

2005-11-13T13:44:00.000+08:00

My exam is in less than 3 days to come, and I have not completed the assignment. I actually started to do the assignment a month ago, but somehow I just could not complete till date.

Every time I am in front of my PC with the angelic intention of doing my assignment, I will go astray at the end. Just like now, I have all the intentions to wrap up my assignment with whatever I have on hand. But, staring at the microsoft words have already made my brain super tired, and I am thinking of going to sleep. Other time, just like yesterday night and also now, I made an excuse of updating my blog.

So, instead of writing an assignment, I am (and was) writing a whole long page of posting. What an excuse, huh? Also, there were time when I opened the microsoft word, and at the end, I decided to watch friends or TV. Haizz... with all these motivations, it's not a wonder that what people can complete in just few days, I am taking months or maybe years, if I can stretch, to complete it. What a lazy bum.....

Perception

2005-11-13T01:13:00.000+08:00

Living in Singapore for 6 years plus has made me conclude this common perception of Singaporean about Indonesian:
1. Chinese Indonesians do not know how to speak Mandarin
2. Indonesian girls never do housework.

Well, for number 1 it's realized by many. However, as for number 2, some will not recall this; only when they are talking about house cleaning or how smooth one's hand is, then they will give this comment "ah.. you never do housechore"

And frankly speaking, this is the comment that I often got from youngsters or even the elder. Initially, I felt a little bit sad.. but gradually, I had this thinking that I look so refined, and some even think I am "rich". Yeah... even an Indonesian friend ever commented something like this "I should not have brought here... people might think I am rich too..." hohohoho... now I think I look like those people living in bungalow... kekeke...

I thought about this topic when I did my weekly room cleaning. This time round, I also got my turn to sweep and mop the living room & kitchen as well cleaning the common bathroom.

I grew up in Indonesia with a lot of helpers surrounded me. Only when I entered my junior high school (equivalent to secondary school in Singapore), then the helpers in my home started to MIA (~ read as: Missing In Action). When I started my junior high school, I moved to Jakarta. There, I stayed at a 3 level office (or other business) cum house (or cum warehouse) place. Well to some, it might sound a very big place to live in, but it's actually not.

My house is not like those bungalow in Singapore. So, the only thing you can imagine is something like HDB flat, whereby the first 3 levels of same place belongs to 1 owner. And first level normally we use it to conduct our business (eg. office, restaurant, warehouse, etc). The second and 3rd level can be used as place to live, but also can be used as a warehouse.

So being in Jakarta where the maids are more "liberal", and staying in this "very easy to get dusty" place with 3 levels to clean, no wonder the maids just prefer to MIA. So, everytime the maids decided to leave, I got to share the workload with my mom. (p/s: Indonesian guys are some sort of Chauvinist, they don't do housework. I was quite suprise when I first learnt my Singaporean male U-mates help up the housechore).

It's not a help when I had to study long hours (as compared to other high school). Our school started early in the morning at 7 am, and ended at 3 pm (or maybe more). And if I had extra culicullar (= ECA), got to stay even longer. So, everytime when I reached home exhaustively, I needed sleep. When I woke up, I got to face the house cleaning process when my maids not around.

Very well with the dust, cleaning process had to be our daily stuff. Cleaning the bathroom was also another thing. Our bathroom has this square ceramic box, with the height higher than my waist, where we keep the water in and bathe from there (In Sg, most flats only have the shower). So, thanks to the dirty water Indonesia has, the box cleaning got to be at least weekly event when my maids not around.

Nahh... after doing all those chores, I got to back to my study. It was a rigorous study, so I got to keep up. Jakarta's educations are more demanding as compared to the area where I came from. This is one of the reason why I don't learn my mom's superb cooking skill. It's kinda pity that nobody will inherit her skill. Anyway, I can re assure you that I am not good in kitchen. So, mom or maid will always chase me out from kitchen. Hahaha....

So now, in Singapore, I am actually facing much much easier task. Though we do not have maid (ahhh... this is one thing that I can't help but thinking why some still think that we never do housework), I am glad to say that my "cleaning" life is just so much simple.

Hey.. I don't say that I am good in cleaning house, but what I want to tell everybody is don't judge book by its cover. I am not that good in cleaning still, but at least I do some houseworks.

Well well, the reason my hand still smooth might be that my lotion's quality is very good. Keep every part of my palm soft and refined......

Dang Ou

2005-11-10T10:41:00.000+08:00

Posted about my "boringness" in office and touched by a collegue's gesture yesterday. But I thought it will be too boring, so I removed that posting.

Then my friend asked my why I removed it. I told her that I am afraid it will be too boring as it was about office again. Then she told me that my financial posting is even more boring. Kekeke....

Ok lah, so I will say something about office in today's posting. A collegue of mine sms me telling me that he intended to quit after the bonus. Anyway, I had predicted that he will not survive long under my regime. But.... he dares to quit before I quit?!?!?!?

I had an exciting programme yesterday, watching dang ou. I liked this drama. It's so bo liao... just like me. The story was sad, firstly because the girl rejected the awaken dang ou, and secondly zhi qian's mum passed away. So sad... And so embarassing because I was the only one crying among 4 of us, who watched the drama last night. Haizzz...

Today's episode will be more exciting. It seems that Zhi Qian will turn into a bad guy and Dang Ou will loose his post as GM. Arrggghhh.. hardly can wait until time to knock off.

I love Dang Ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu......

Get to know yourself better

2005-11-07T21:17:00.000+08:00

Quiz

Your view on yourself:You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education: Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Cool!!

2005-11-04T11:23:00.000+08:00

I searched my own blog in google and found these 2 links below:

http://www.pubsub.com/site_stats.php?site=vivinug.blogspot.com

http://www.blogshares.com/blogs.php?blog=http://vivinug.blogspot.com%2F

Moreover, there is statistic given. Weuwww...!!!!

Sleepy

2005-11-04T10:51:00.000+08:00

Felt very sleepy this morning. I slept in MRT, and I just feel sleepy again especially when the wheather is so condusive now and I turned in quite late last night.

Talked to my friends last night. I illustrated my problem like a hand stuck in a bottle jar.
I saw candies in a bottle jar. It's not mine, but it looks so nice and I want it. So, my hand quickly go into the bottle jar and I grabbed as many as I can. Too bad, with a lot of candies in my hand, I can't get my hand out. Then I tried to let go the candies. But somehow the sweets have stucked in my hand, and my hand stuck in the bottle jar. I tried many times to get my hand out of the bottle jar, but I just couldn't get it out. My hand is getting pain and I am getting sick and tired of it.

If it sounds insane, pardon me. But this is what had happened to me. The sweet is not mine, but I want it. When I get the hold of it, it stucks with me. It's not mine and I can't enjoy it too.

That friend of mine suggested me to keep trying. My final solution should be to break the bottle jar, as my hand will get hurt. It should only be my resort.

Well, have been thinking and really tired of trying....

Common Financial Advice

2005-11-01T21:20:00.000+08:00

Found this interesting articles from Sunday Strait Times. It discussed about the merits of some common financial advice we often heard:

1. Property is a good investment
--> well, apparently after taking into accounts inflation, mortgage interest, stamp duty and miscellaneous costs the return was not so WoW!

2. Insure yourself against everything
--> Insurance comes at cost. Some advise to buy only basic cover, and invest excess money into other things.

3. $1 million for retirement
--> Some advise to save 30% of monthly salary. Well, if you could afford to save more, why not?
(errhh... sometimes it's just too hard. And different people has different needs. Take myself for example. I will need at least $300 a month to spend for my accomodation, excluding electricity and water bills. This $300 a month is a lot of money you know! As compared to my counterpart with the same age, they actually can afford to spend more on this money, save it or even invest it. Imagine 1 year later, it will accumulate into $3,600!!!!!!)

4. Pay off motgage loan fast.
--> They argue that housing loan should be the last to repay as housing loan's interest rate is so much lower that car loan, with twice the rate; or credit card rate, which charge up to 24% for late payment.
(fair enough. Pay off those loan with higher interest first. But, try to pay off more, keeping aside money for rainy days)

5. Diversify investments
--> Quoted that Mr Buffet once said: "Wide diversification is only required when investors do not understand what they are doing"
(This the common phrase I heard during my U time "Do not put your eggs into 1 basket", principal of diversification. They argue that diversification if good in the sense that if one of your investment is not doing well, your other investment can make up for the losses. In the long run, one will better off by diversifying. Mr Buffet's argument is interesting. Imagine one expert, who knows the market very well, and really intelligent and can analyse very well and put his or her money into 1 stock that he or she confident will pick up in no time. What if, the next day, suddenly BOOMM!!!! Out of nowhere comes an earthquake in that area, and destroy everything. Wouldn't he or she lost everything that he or she invests? Well, I just feel that no one will know what will happen in the future for sure)

6. Start investment earlier.
--> With an early start, there is more option to pick and choose the timing to exit from the investment
(don't know how to comment....)

Hugz

2005-10-31T13:55:00.000+08:00

sooooooooo cuteeeeeeeeeeeee

What if....

2005-10-28T09:59:00.000+08:00

If you were working with someone (same or lower rank), who is forgetful, slow and always complains that he/ she has many things to do (or busy) although the workload has been reduced by more than 1/2, what would you do to "tackle" this kind of person?

And, if you then complaint to your supervisor, and your supervisor asked you to keep reminding him/ her, to be patient, and to serve him/ her like he/ she is your manager are you going to do it? and if you do it, will you do it forever?

Lawsuit

2005-10-27T21:13:00.000+08:00

Heard about this lawsuit by a doctor (if not wrong) to Mr Oei Hong Leong?

If it's unfamiliar to you, maybe I shall give a brief story that I remember. Well, there is this doctor (if not wrong), who wanted to buy a house next Mr Oei's. But there is only 1 road to both houses, and it is currently owned by Mr Oei. Mr Oei has put a road barrier (forgot what it's called), that can be operated only by Mr Oei's security or maid.

So, this doctor (if not wrong), she files a lawsuit against Mr Oei. Her case was turned down.

Today I read Mr Oei's comment, which is something like this: he will allow the doctor (if not wrong) to use the road and maybe having some arrangement for the barrier with her lah (until she built her own road) IF only she has knocked his door and talked to him over this matter instead of filing the lawsuit. He has allowed the previous owner, an old lady, to pass by the road.

My comment:
1. hahahahahahahahaha *LOL*
2. Aiyaaaaa.... I should have become a lawyer... My monthly pay might be 'peanut' by now...
3. Well, if there is 2 houses and 1 road only, why nobody question about the previous owner? It didn't cross to my mind too...

Warrant

2005-10-26T21:37:00.000+08:00

Well, if I'm allowed to make my own assumption and definition, I will say that "orh.. warrant is sister of option, futures, and forwards. Basically they are in derivative family. Mommy and Daddy are stocks/ shares"

See!!! How happy the family are?

But well, as what some economists and financial authors said "warrant and her brothers and sisters are very naughty. They are still young, but super naughty. When this warrant grows up together with her brothers and sisters, they become a pretty or handsome derivatives, who are 'dangerous' and 'sexy' (exotic)"

Ok ok, enough with my crappie...

This is what the economy will say lah: (~ quoted from Strait Times, 26/10/505)

Warrants are instruments deriving their value from the underlying stock.
Macquarie Bank will be issuing 2 covered warrants on China Construction Bank (CCB) in Singapore. And these 2 covered warrants will be traded tomorrow.

Recently CCB has just launched an IPO (Initial Public Offering) with US$8 billion (S$ 13.6 billion), that ranks it to be the biggest in 4 years.

The 2 covered warrants issued by Macquarie Bank will be:
1. 1 warrant can be converted into 2 CCB shares at exercise price of HK$2.28
2. 1 warrant can be converted into 2 CCB shares at exercise price of HK$2.58
Maturity period = 9 mths

Since the CCB's issue price is HK$2.35, they predict that the warrant will be priced at about S$0.20 --> how they get it arh?

This makes the first option to be "in the money" and 2nd option to be "out of money".

"In the money" is when the market price of the underlying security is greater than the strike/ exercise price, whereas "out of the money" is when the reverse happens.

The report also said that the long maturity period is one of the attraction. Investors who are bullish on CCB over the next 9 mths will be able to enjoy greater gains of buying the covered warrants
--> I can explain this!!! hehehe.. meaning arh, if the investors know that the shares will definitely be so much more than HK$2.58 due to its good prospect, they will better of buying the warrant now at the nominal amount (the one around S$0.20), keep the warrant, and exercise it later if the share's price at least about HK$2.58 + warrant cost. Exercise means they will buy the shares with the warrant. The investors will only need to pay HK$2.58 for each warrant they have. And then they can sell the shares at the market price (which might be so much higher if the company is doing really good by then). Otherwise, the investor will be better off keeping the warrant and not exercising them and hence, will not suffer so much loss. So, their loss is kept at minimal level of around S$0.20. Hmm... similar to call options.

Still wandering how they get the S$0.20... anybody can help?

Inflation? or... my bigger appetite?

2005-10-26T20:40:00.000+08:00

This word has been over and over said by many economists, our economy teachers, news analysts, and Federal Reserve chairman. Even the successor of Mr Greenspan, Mr Ben Bernanke, has said something about inflation in the recent interview. He predicted that US inflation pressure will largely on energy sector.

So, with this big word running around us, what is exactly the meaning of Inflation? Why is it so important?

Inflation, as what I understand it to be, is an increase in price of goods and services over the time. So, if I had a dollar 10 years ago, I could buy 1 value meal. But now, I can't even afford a packet of french fries with that dollar. In other words, the value of my $1 is decreasing.

See!! this word is very important. I wonder whether the economists wake up in the morning with this word ringing in their head.

Nah.. the reason I brought up this dry topic was because this morning, when I was preparing my breakfast, which is a bread covered by a layer of chocolate jam, I suddenly have this thinking that few years ago, I occasionally would buy cheese to go with my bread. Why recently I have downgrade myself to go only with chocolate jam? Was it because of inflation?

Then I continue to think, well, as compared to last time when I just a student, now I have the so-called "spending power". I earn money, and I spend it too. And I realize that nowadays I am too busy eating "more" (well, those my lunch or dinner kakis, or my flatmates, or any of my friends who ever saw me eating, will know the meaning). As a result, I have spent my money on quantity rather than quality. That might be the reason why I have to downgrade myself in order to satisfy my stomach. *sigh*.... follow by *long long sigh*

So, the conclusion is that Inflation depends on many way. Many things will happen as per the theory as long as "ceteri paribus" (all other things hold the same). Well, things do change, with the will power, I also eat more....

Coming Holiday

2005-10-23T18:52:00.000+08:00

Had planned with my flatmates to have home cook for the 2 days holiday. I will buy salted fish next Sunday for the "fried rice" session. But forgotten that I will need to leave for expo on Sunday. Haizz... but hopefully one of my flatmate can help me to bring it home. Otherwise, plan cancell lah...

Ah Pui?!?!?!!????

2005-10-23T16:11:00.000+08:00

My weigh had been steady at about 45.50 kg last few weeks. Suddenly, when I weighed myself yesterday, it increased to 46.30 kg. Almost 1 kg leh.... Can see? can see??

Splog

2005-10-23T15:56:00.000+08:00

If you know "spam", a word that dedicated to those unwanted emails in your mailbox, the interned world has come up with another word for this "spam" for blogs. Call it "splog". Cute, huh?

Well, I just learnt this cute word today. Splog. Roughly I know what is this. Everytime I do some editing on my blog, there will be some unwanted comment that actually advertise their web. So, being a "blog goondoo" I hit the web in a splog. Then I knew that this is some sort of spam.

Yeah... I know lah I'm a blog goondoo. Even friends' blogs' link was wrongly put in the archive. Hahaha......!!!!

Credit Card

2005-10-23T15:11:00.000+08:00

So many articles about the negative impact of credit card. High interest that has suffocated many people until the negative equity hip for some of the citizens here.

Personally, having been servicing my tuition and study load until now, I did feel the burden of repaying the loan's interest every month. Imagine, I started out with $30 over something thousand. The rate was only about 5% then. It worked out interest of $150+ per month. So, I have to pay at least $150 so that I can pay off the interest, and the interest will not roll over the next month. Well, times were and are tough... so some of the interest were still rolled over. So, the next month, I still had to pay the interest of the capital itself plus the interest of the interest.

So, taking the credit card's interest of 24%, if you forgot to pay or you have more debt to service than your spare money, it's a big sum of interest you got to forkout!! An article stated that for a $30k loan, an interest of about $500 will have to be born by the credit card holder. Imagine $500!!!! And this interest, if not paid off will be rolled over to the next month with another interest of 24% again. That's why most of people spending their money clearing the interest only.

Well, anyway, I can't afford a credit card. So, I don't care much... But, interest is going up... hell!!

Let's determine what's your brain's sex?

2005-10-19T22:38:00.000+08:00

Click here

I have tried last time, but apparently I forgot what my result was. The test is a little bit lenghty, but worth trying. Will try again next time and re-publish my result.

Global Depository Receipts (GDRs)

2005-10-19T13:50:00.000+08:00

I have learnt about this term during my U time. But reading in the newspaper has revived my memory again. To summarize what I have re-learnt:

GDRs
-> foreign firm that interested to have its shares listing offshore, can issue a number of shares to a financial institution (eg. bank) in Sg or other countries that in turn, sells GDRs (representing the shares issued by the foreign firm) to the domestic countries' (Sg's) investors

Advantages:
- no new listings in SGX or local exchanges
- faster time to get the listing of GDRs approved, no lenghty and costly process to issue prospectus. They (foreign firms) will need only to comply with the listing requirements of their home exchanges, after the listing of the GDRs
- foreign firms can enjoy the vast number of fund managers and intutions in other countries

Disadvantages:
- issued in "lot sizes" of $200,000 or more. So, this is not suitable for retail investors (as comparison, retail investors normally trade in "lot sizes" of 1,000 shares, costed about $100 or less per trade) ==> liquidity problem

~~ summarize from the Strait Times, 19/10/05

Leadership, Courage and Mistake

2005-10-19T13:39:00.000+08:00

Leadership

"Anyone can choose to lead, in any place. Leaders are made, not born. Ultimately, leadership is about raising people's sights so that they see something new and achieve more than they thought was possible"

Courage

"Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear"

Mistake

"Making mistake is part of the game. But for the big decisions, I wouldn't have changed them and I have no regrets"

~ Carly Fiorina, 18 Oct 2005 ~

Story - Sad Misunderstanding

2005-10-17T17:07:00.000+08:00

I cried after reading this... very sad...

A fatal misunderstanding and the person who love me the most in this world is gone forever. This is a true story, taken from "Family" (dictated by LD, edited by LSX,translated by SaFe).

Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our original intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, every thing became too late. Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.

I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant some greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother." Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to rest on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling. Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat the flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get use to it."

Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever I came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it. Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it." There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.

Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast. In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest. As i am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and is exhausted from a long day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes.

From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and that resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash they again. One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me. I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?"

After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house. During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please. In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work.

That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.

The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I couldn't. I threw down the bowl and rushed into the washroom and vomited everything out. Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes. I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really didn't mean it.

We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs. For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at the low point in my life. Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible, you should go and see a doctor."The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant. Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day?

At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart.

I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me round in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight? Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket.

That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again. The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby.

I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital." I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless.

I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen? Throughout the funeral, hubby did say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people. That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...

I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if... In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.

Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in. I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.

Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart.

One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything.

The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go,hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me, challenging me. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me.

That night, he did not come home, he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other. He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff. I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished.

I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.

One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it. In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine. As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there.

After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pull e paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, you are pregnant?"

Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now." He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other. Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me, I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't. In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scares in each other's heart. For me, its unintentional; for him, totally intentional. I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated. Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him. From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart.

Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet. This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He has forgotten that last time; I cared for him and am concerned because there is love, but now, what is there between us?

Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing all the way till baby was born. Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions. He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing, but none of that matters to me anymore.

It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brown, throughout the journey to the hospital. Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did?

He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in, his warm eyes caused me to managed a smile at him despite my contraction pain. Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son, and me, his eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his... I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment.

Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when did he first discover he had cancer? Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral." I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me.

Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son:

"Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now... I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no long has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion... Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through your life journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most..."

From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.

Hubby has also written a letter for me: "My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby... My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me... These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging..."

Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..." He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang thought the air as tears slowly rolled down my face...

The end...

How Observant Are You? --> mine is C

2005-10-14T22:24:00.000+08:00

You tend to notice the big things in life...
But the details aren't exactly your forte

How Observant Are You?

To be a vegetarian = healthy person?

2005-10-14T17:05:00.000+08:00

I attended a talk that encouraged people to go vegetarian. If possible eat more raw food and fasting as long as your body could take it. Drink more plenty of plain fluid and fruit juices. Basically, the teaching was about detoxification and listen to your body's needs.

Err.. sounds healthy, but.....

I read once in Mind Your Body or something sounds like that (Secion of The Strait Times) that there is no scientific proof for detoxification process towards human body. In 1 part, this vegetarion group says that the Doctors might not really know how the body function. On the other part, the doctors claim the otherwise. So, who's true?

Give you another example, when you have rashes, the doctor will ask you to apply ointment or something to soother the rashes. But this vegetarion group said that "oh.. this is the effect of poisonous chemical in your body trying to purge. So, it's actually good not to apply anything and let it be..."

Well well, I will still eat "moderately" everything that I want to eat... but will try to eat more green and fruit.. ^__^

What age do you act?

2005-10-13T08:52:00.000+08:00

Mine is 25 years old.. lao liao...

You Are 25 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Courtesy

2005-10-11T16:59:00.000+08:00

Again I read about a spectator who commented something in front of the distraught family after a court session. Well, the comment was not welcomed by the family and a drama then happened.

Sometimes back, another spectator also commented something to wife of accused killer of Huang Na. If not wrong the comment goes like this "Why you cry? Your husband is a killer"

There might be some truth in a comment said, but, is it necessary to convey it to the distraught family? What if we are in the shoes of the ones commented. How well can we accept the comments?

I think, courtesy should not be inforced only for MRT or Bus usage. It should be part of our daily interaction with one another. As I, myself, might not welcome such comment wholeheartedly with a pure and sweet smile if I am the one commented.

Blogging tips

2005-10-10T15:16:00.000+08:00

With recent incidents about the bloggers being put into jail, I guess we must exercise due dilligence in blogging. I found these tips after reading today's paper. Since it's useful and worthy to share I hope some of my friends will take time to read.

1. If you post pictures of someone in a compromising pose, without her consent, she can take action
(means to sue lah...)
2. If you call someone names or allege that something has happened, make sure you have got the facts right, lest you be sued for defamation
3. Reproducing published works without the consent of the copyright owner, eg using a piece of music on your site, is also against the law
4. And remember, the owner of the website is held responsible for posts by others as well
( I believe the last one also applicable to comments left by other people in your blog)

--> quoted from The Straits Times, Monday 10/10/05

So, friends be more careful, ok?

Garing (A.K.A Garink)

2005-10-10T11:15:00.000+08:00

Garing is an Indonesian word to describe something that is crispy in nature. So, something like fried tempura, if I bite it and it's crispy, I say "garink tempura" (english) or "tempura garink" (Indonesia).

Ehemm... I prefer to call it Garink instead of Garing. Why?? because it's more stylish! hehehe....

So, why I brought up this topic is because I want to introduce this stylo word to non-Indonesian friend. We normally use this words not only to describe fried food, but also to describe a story or a joke. Give you example:

Doraemon and Hello Kitty were out on the streets one day.When Doraemon saw Hello Kitty, he waved and greeted her, "Hello Kitty!"Hello Kitty, however, didn't greet him in return. Why didn't she?

==== sorry, can't upload the hello kitty image =====

(She didn't have a mouth.)

Now, she was feeling pretty bad about appearing rude, so she stitched amouth on herself and went off to look for Doraemon.When she saw him, she greeted him enthusiastically.Doraemon, however, ignored her. Why didn't he acknowledge her greeting?

(He couldn't hear her - he didn't have ears.)

Nahh... this lame joke we call it GARINK!!!

Hehehe... just a nonsense from me...

To duplicate or not to duplicate, that's the question

2005-10-07T12:14:00.000+08:00

I have another blog, where I put all my miseries and nonsense. It is drafted either in English or Indonesia. So, not many people will understand what the hell I am writing about.

After creating this blog, I just wonder whether I should make a duplicate postings or not. To duplicate means I will spend unnecessary time to duplicate lah... But not duplicate, means I have to basically refer to 2 blogs.

Hmm... I am in dilemma now... duplicate or not arh?

1st Posting

2005-10-07T09:55:00.000+08:00

This is my first posting.

Cute Bubble

.........

Some important informations

Sleeveless Pictures

Appropriate or Inappropriate?

Hoaaaa!!!!

Reply, reply and reply

My long long email

Quitting from Catholic teaching?

Dilemma on being a Catholic

Blue Lense (Story No 2)

Life

Chinese New Year's advice

What does your name begin with?

Tai Tai to be says:

Mc D advertisement

Molest

Raining

Blue Lense

Happy New Year!!!!

What colour is your Brain??

$2

So sian

Coloured Lense

Nice Quotes

The effect of Bird Flu

Check Passport Information

Misleading

Draw Pig ~ Personality Test

Ouhhh... Darn Paisek erh?!

Kenny Roger's lunch

Protest!!

Health Screening

The saddest Picture in the World

Positive Thinking

Psychology Test

3 tips on mobile phone

It's Friday!!!

Courtesy

Ulcer

Break Free

Suan Le Ba.....

What is the title of the song?

Corporate Dinner

Independence Day

Assignment

Perception

Dang Ou

Get to know yourself better

Cool!!

Sleepy

Common Financial Advice

*Hugz*

What if....

Lawsuit

Warrant

Inflation? or... my bigger appetite?

Coming Holiday

Ah Pui?!?!?!!????

Splog

Credit Card

Let's determine what's your brain's sex?

Global Depository Receipts (GDRs)

Leadership, Courage and Mistake

Story - Sad Misunderstanding

How Observant Are You? --> mine is C

To be a vegetarian = healthy person?

What age do you act?

Courtesy

Blogging tips

Garing (A.K.A Garink)

To duplicate or not to duplicate, that's the question

1st Posting

Hugz